Starting Over
by harlequincabaret
Summary: Post 'Journey's End'. Rose is trying to come to grips that the Doctor has left her once again after doing so much to find him-but this time, she is not alone. Will they ever be able to move on and live life as the Doctor intended them to? Rose/10.5
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Adding in this author's note to say a couple things! First of all, I am such a massive Who fan. I wrote this in between classes in my college's library…well, I wrote about a paragraph before my mind wandered and I began to write 'bad wolf' all over the page and doodled a little TARDIS. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Secondly, I'm not sure if I'll continue this! I kind of want to, but I don't want it to be like everyone else's stories on here (which have become almost like a bedtime ritual for me…I try and read one every night). Let me know in a review or PM if I should continue this, or leave it as a one-shot.**

**Thanks for reading! I appreciate it!**

The waves crashed relentlessly, never-ceasing reminders that I was here. Resolutely stuck at Bad Wolf Bay. The man next to me caused so many questions to race through my mind. He _was _the Doctor, and yet, he was not. But _he_ had been the one to say the words I had so desperately wanted to hear, not **my **Doctor.

I didn't know what to think.

His hand was gripping mine, a familiar and distant sensation. Instead of _feeling_ and savoring the moment, I was brought back to early days, years ago…_ages _ago. Despite how crazy it all had been, it seemed simpler than this.

He looked like him. His hand in mine was his; it felt like it always had, held mine in the same firm and comforting manner. He carried himself just like I remembered. But there was one crucial difference—he had one heart, not the two of a Time Lord. He was part human.

There he stood—my equal. The one thing that could have kept me from being with the Doctor 'forever', as I had once naively proclaimed, was my own humanity, and now this Doctor would endure its sting as well.

I knew he had done this for me. He thought it would make me happy. And perhaps one day it would. But having him leave once again hurt even more than the first time.

"Rose?"

I looked up from the sand at the sound of his voice. It was all so surreal. No matter how many planets I traveled to, or time periods I crossed with the Doctor, this was the hardest to grasp. Hearing my name spoken by this…_other _Doctor…it didn't feel right. Yet.

But the Doctor believed I could be happy. And even if it wasn't what we wanted, maybe it was what we _needed_. He may not be the Doctor I fell in love with, or the one I'd been trying to get back to all this time. But he was the only Doctor I could have, and that would have to be enough. It would be enough.

I looked over at him, noting the concern that creased his brow. I exhaled deeply and then tried a smile. I didn't know where to go from here, but we'd be able to experience that together, two people who were entirely out of place in this parallel world. I squeezed his hand, feeling relief when I saw his face relax and the worry fade away.

"Let's go home, yeah? You must be hungry." It wasn't the most appropriate thing to say after all that had happened throughout the course of the day, but it was all I could think of.

I carefully watched his face, expecting him to disappear before my eyes.

"Oh, no, I'm fine." But his stomach gave a grumble of protest. "Weeeellll…I suppose a quick meal wouldn't hurt."

"That's what I thought," I smirked, pulling him away from the surf. "I can fry us up something at home. Let's go."

Effortlessly, instinctually, he responded: "Allons-y!"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I decided to continue this story beyond the original one-shot, for better or for worse, haha! I hope you enjoy it.

The first afternoon in the flat together was awkward, to say the least.

Despite having been so comfortable around The Doctor in all our travels and adventures, I moved around _this _Doctor in such an awkward way. It should have come second nature. It should have felt easy, like before. Instead it felt like we were dancing steps we didn't know, with two left feet to boot.

I'd been relieved when his eyelids began to droop, and dark circles settled in. I had (maybe a little too eagerly) offered to set him up with a place to sleep and some toiletries, and to my relief, he took me up upon it.

As soon as he'd tucked into bed in the spare bedroom (my place was very spacious, much more so than your typical flat—but that's what Torchwood can get you, and having this parallel universe's Pete Tyler for a dad), I'd exhaled indulgently. I felt as if I hadn't breathed at all since we'd been left on our own, though of course that was ridiculous.

The tea kettle on the stove began to squeal, and I rushed over to stifle its sharp trill. I didn't want to wake him. Not only because I was dreading trying to figure out what to say, but also because he needed the rest. So did I. Desperately. But I had a feeling I wouldn't find sleep tonight.

I fetched a mug down from one of the cabinets and filled it with the scalding liquid. The heat warmed my hands, and spread throughout the rest of my body. It was a small comfort, but it helped relieve the stress a bit.

It was only right that I find a place of my own. Mum and dad had another child, Tony. His life would be much less complicated if I weren't there, bringing work home from Torchwood. He didn't need to be exposed to all that so soon. Pete was being extremely careful to keep him guarded, though he knew there would come a time when Tony would need to know our story.

There was a balcony attached to my flat, something I'd requested when I moved out of Pete's mansion. It was my place to go when I needed to think. The things you saw at Torchwood…it could drive anyone mad. But it wasn't only Torchwood that caused me to seek refuge on the little balcony. I went there when I felt his absence the most.

All this time I tried to find my way back to him…

I slid the glass door open, enjoying the slight breeze on my face. It greeted me like a friend. I clicked on the light on the left wall, and the lamp overhead produced a warm orangey-yellow haze.

"Haven' been out here in a while…" I whispered, though to who, I wasn't sure.

I took a seat in the papasan, lifting my legs up and hugging my knees with one arm, while the other gripped the mug. I was comfortable in the chair, and the warmth from the tea and my jacket enveloped me. But I felt anxious, and nervous.

I don't know what I had expected to happen once I caught up to the Doctor. A fairytale ending? When was it ever like that? Maybe in those novels mum read religiously, but never in real life. And certainly not in the Doctor's world.

But I had hoped. It kept me going. I wanted to save him, again. I wanted to be _with_ him again.

I took a sip from the mug after cooling it down with my breath, and then set the drink down. I shivered as the liquid ran down my throat, tingling and burning. I looked out at the city before me, watching cars go by and the couple down the street bicker over how the husband kept coming home late from 'work'.

My fingers touched my lips absently. I hadn't noticed I was doing it, but once I snapped into consciousness, I realized why. The kiss we'd shared on Bad Wolf Bay still lingered. It had been spontaneous, on my part. I'd been so quick to do it, at the sound of those three words.

_"I love you."_

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. With a slight incline of my head, I saw the stars sprawled out against the dark sky. I stared hard at them, scanning the sky for any sign of it. The TARDIS. It was impossible, of course. I was in Pete's World, as he had named it. He wasn't coming back.

I didn't know what to do. In all the years spent here, working at Torchwood, looking after mum and dad and Tony…I thought I'd gotten stronger. Mature. But now I felt small and helpless, not the tough Rose Tyler everyone expected.

I held the tea with both hands, letting go of my knees in favor of the mug. I could feel myself shaking now, despite feeling warm. I held onto the mug as if it alone could steady my control, but it was no used. Tears prickled at my eyes, and soon they were let loose.

I needed to sleep, or at least try to. Today…today had been overwhelming, and clearly I was suffering from it.

I left the drink outside; I'd worry about it in the morning. I tried to shove every thought of the duplicate Doctor out of my mind for now (though I was unsuccessful). I'd deal with it when I woke up. A good night's sleep. That's all I'd need.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke to the smell of bacon, which caused my stomach to growl. But no matter how good it smelled, it put me on edge. Was he _cooking_?

I threw on a robe, since I barely slept in anything the night before, and then went into the kitchen.

Sure enough, the Doctor was standing with his back to me, gaze intent on the frying pan.

"Mornin'," I greeted warily. "Whatcha makin'?"

He jumped a bit, and I had to stifle a laugh.

"Good morning! I, uh, thought some bacon and eggs would be a good way to start off the day."

I raised my had to my mouth, absently biting my thumb nail.

"Have ya ever even cooked before?"

"Of course!" He scoffed, turning away from me. "_Well_…_he_ has at least."

I felt a pang in my chest. Even he was confused about all this. Here I was feeling sorry for myself when he was somebody else entirely. He had someone else's memories, feelings…

"Do ya want some help?" I offered, still maintaining my distance.

"No, no. I'm fine. Thanks."

Unsure what to say next, I wandered out of the room. He's need some new clothes, that's for sure, and a couple other necessary items. We'd have to tend to that immediately.

"Rose!"

I rushed into the kitchen when he called, fearful that he'd set something on fire or broken a plate or two.

"Bacon and eggs, over-easy, and some toast!"

The table was set, and admittedly, it looked lovely. He had gone out of his way to make a good first impression (if you could consider it that).

"Wow," I smiled. "Looks great."

I took my seat across from him, very aware of how closely he was watching me.

I raised my fork, but before I took a bite, I looked up at him and asked, "How was your sleep last night?"

"Great, great. Yours?"

I hesitated. Should I tell him about the constant nightmares I'd had? I would have told the Doctor in an instant but…

"Yeah. Fine." I bluffed.

I bowed my head and began to eat, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see him doing the same. Then he raised his eyebrows, cleared his throat, and pointed his fork at me accusingly. "Remember the Sycorax? You tried to talk your way out of that one, too. You're a rubbish liar, Rose Tyler."

I sighed. Maybe he _was_ more like him than I thought.

"I have bad dreams. Every night. That you—" I stopped to correct myself. "That he's in danger. And I can't do a flippin' thing about it." A lump formed in my throat. I tried not to dwell on the dreams for this reason. "'Scuse me. I'm jus' gonna get ready. I'm—I'm not feelin' too well. Thanks for breakfast."

The look of confusion on his face made me feel a little bit bad, but I didn't want him to see me like this.

….

By mid-afternoon I found myself lounging on the couch in front of the telly. I wasn't even watching—just staring at the screen.

"Mind if I join you?"

I was brought back to reality by the sound of his voice.

"Oh, no. Go ahead. I dunno what I'm watchin'."

"I'm not so sure I trust telly anymore." He mused.

I knew what he was referring to, and I just wanted to ignore it, but to be polite, I responded. "Yeah, but you fixed that all up, didn't ya?"

"What _is_ this? Ugh!" He cringed. "This," he pointed a finger at the screen, "is the biggest pile of rubbish I've ever seen."

"It's _Star Wars_," I told him, cracking an amused grin.

We watched for a bit longer, all the while picking the sci-fi film apart.

During a commercial (which I muted), we turned to each other simultaneously.

"Rose—"

"Hey—I"

We both stopped and laughed nervously.

"You can go firs'." I said, but he shook his head.

"No, no. You go."

"I was wonderin' if you wanted to go shoppin' later. You'll need some clothes."

"Ah. Right, right. Yes, we should do that…"

"And what were you gonna say?"

"Oh, _well_…it's not important."

"Go on!" I smirked, bumping his arm with his shoulder. He had a faint blush on his freckled cheeks.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go out tonight. A date. Fish and chips. But now that we're going shopping…"

"We have time for both." I whispered, taken aback but finding his hesitancy endearing.

"Really?"

"Yes, _really_. Come on! You're like him. You _have_ to have inherited his smugness. Stop pretending to be humble. You knew I'd say yes."

"_Well…_" He put his hand on the back of his neck and raised his eyebrows. "I've still got it, haven't I?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favorites! I really appreciate it. It's definitely made this week so much brighter…Still adjusting to college, haha! Thanks again, and please review!**

**(Also, I know this story is extremely fluffy at times, but my poor broken shipper heart just needed to write this for my sanity…)**

I felt odd as I stood in front of the mirror. I hadn't gotten dressed up in a while…but tonight felt like the appropriate time for it.

I kept in mind that we were also going shopping, so though the clothes were slightly fancier than usual, they were still comfortable.

After taking one last glance at my reflection, I went to join my "date" in the living room.

"All set?" I asked, breaking him out of his concentration. He'd been fiddling with the TV, probably trying to find a way to improve it.

He jumped to his feet and whipped his glasses off in one fluid motion.

"Yes. You look great."

"Thanks," I smiled softly. "You don't look so bad yourself," though truth-be-told, he'd been wearing the same outfit for two days now. "Let's go get you some clothes, yeah? As nice as that suit is, you'll need somethin' a bit more casual for everyday wear."

"But I like these suits! Don't you think they flatter me?" He turned sideways, modeling the blue suit. It brought me back to the time I spent with the Doctor on New Earth, when Cassandra had inhabited his body and accused me of sneaking peeks at him.

_But I __**had **__been looking._

"You can still keep it!" I shook my head with an amused smirk. "And we'll get you another. Maybe like the pinstripe one he would always wear." I noted how his eyes lit up. "But you'll be needin' average clothes. You'll fit in more."

"Alright."

"If you're so set on your precious suits, I know a great place to go. Dad goes there all the time when he needs something' a little snazzier for work functions."

"Sounds like a plan."

"'Kay. Jus' let me get my keys."

…

The suit shopping was a success. If I was being completely honest, he looked amazing in them. I bought two, one brown with blue pinstripes like the one _he'd _always traveled in. The other was dark blue. He also picked up an assortment of ties and dress shirts at the same store.

I was glad to see him so happy. I couldn't image what it would be like to go through what he was experiencing now. In some ways, I felt it. I missed _him_. I don't know if it had been better or worse that I'd seen him again…it was like losing him all over again, and the universe had dropped this man with me out of spite.

I jumped in surprise when I felt him take my hand. He'd caught me staring out of the shop window/

"You alright?"

"Yeah, thanks. All set?" I pulled away from him to follow the shop lady to the counter. Once I paid a hefty sum for the clothing, I rejoined him outside.

"Where to next?" He asked, which seemed all wrong. It was always me questioning the next destination, not knowing where or when the Doctor would bring us next. Now _I_ was the expert, the conductor.

"Tula's, I 'spose. Great shop for necessities. Pajamas, socks…underwear. Basics."

….

"Rose, what time is it?"

"Nearly seven. We should probably head back soon. I have work tomorrow."

There was a pregnant silence, but he soon broke it.

"What about our date?"

"Oh. Right." I hadn't forgotten, but I'd been hoping he had. I wasn't sure I was up for awkward conversation, not when I was still so conflicted about my feelings. "Fish and chips, you said?"

He nodded. "It was our first date. I thought it was only natural that it should be our first date here in Pete's World."

I wasn't sure what to say to that, but I immediately felt horrible for avoiding physical contact since he'd grabbed my hand at the suit shop. I laced my fingers with his and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I know a wonderful place just a block down. Huge portions of greasy, crunchy chips. C'mon."

…..

It was funny how I was getting what I'd always wanted (minus the time traveling, of course), yet I was resisting it. I was feeling too many emotions that didn't agree.

"So…Torchwood." He said, munching away at some chips. I noticed the way his eyes grew darker, almost angry, as he said it.

"Torchwood." I nodded. "Figured it'd be better than just workin' in a shop, like before. It's gotten…better. Y'know. Pete's been keepin' it in line."

"Do you like it?"

"I guess." I shrugged and sat back against the booth, looking down at my folded hands. "After everything I've seen and done, it would've been hard to go back to a normal job. I felt useless enough already. Once you get a taste of it…nothing compares. When he left me I felt…empty. All the alien stuff made me feel closer to him. It filled the void, just a tiny bit. Gave me something to do, anyways."

"Rose, I know you need me. And I need you. You may be confused…but you once said you'd never leave me. And I won't leave you. I may not be the exact Doctor you want or love, but I am him. I'm the Doctor that never has to leave. I won't leave. Not unless you make me."

My damn emotions were flaring up, and I swallowed hard.

"So this is a date, right? How're ya gonna pay for it?"

He looked deflated, possibly because what I had said in response to his declaration wasn't what he'd been hoping, but he promptly answered.

"I-I never thought about money…I'll pay you back as soon as I can!"

I cracked a smile, grateful for this happy distraction from the oncoming tears.

"Shut up," I laughed. "I was only jokin'. You don't need to pay me back for this. You've done so much for me already. Taken me places, opened my eyes. Saved me dozens of times. Mind, I've saved you once or twice…You took an average shop girl and made me believe I could be somethin' more. Don't go frettin' over fish and chips, Doctor. You've done so much, worth so much more than a few pounds."

I expected this to calm him, but his eyes instead widened.

"What?" I asked, now worried I'd said something wrong.

"You said my name. You called me 'Doctor.'"

"You're right. You may not have two hearts, or the TARDIS, but you're him. Or mostly him. The sooner I realize it, the better off we'll be."

He lunged across the table and kissed me with such force that I was thrown back, my chair balancing on two legs, threatening to drop me onto the floor. I reached out to grip the table, but found his hands instead. He broke the kiss, nearly breathless, and pulled me safely onto all four legs of the chair.

"Sorry, got a bit carried away…too enthusiastic…"

"No," I chuckled. "That's very _you_."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Bit of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy just the same. Thanks for all of your kind reviews!**

I was more than surprised at how well the date had gone, once we'd gotten past the necessary awkwardness. The kiss had left me feeling like a giddy school girl, or one of the ladies (though none were worthy of _that _title!) I'd worked with back home in my world. They'd always gawk at any male that was even remotely attractive, and then giggle for minutes on end. But this was different. This was real.

When we got back to the flat we started sorting out the shopping bags, separating formal clothes from t-shirts, dark socks from lighter ones. The last thing we addressed was pajamas, and by that point, he was trying to hide his frequent yawns.

"I think it's time you went to bed," I laughed. "Here. Take 'em." I handed him a pair of striped PJ bottoms and one of the night shirts he'd picked out. "Dependin' on when ya get up tomorrow, I might be at work. So don't freak out if I'm gone, yeah?"

"I'm not making any promises."

There was a moment when neither of us knew what to say next. He was standing firmly with his feet slightly apart from one another, hands grasping the night clothes. He just watched me, a small smile on his lips. I shifted my weight to the right, ready to go out the door.

"Righ'…well…goodnigh', I 'spose."

"Goodnight, Rose."

I shuffled out of the room and closed the door behind me. I was so ready to fall asleep. Today had been emotionally draining, and on top of it, Torchwood would be calling my name tomorrow.

From here forward, things would be easier. I had to try and be optimistic, for his sake and mine. He was right, of course. He was him, so naturally he _would _be right. It may not have worked out as I hoped or wanted, but I still had him.

I tried not to think about the real Doctor. Of course, he had Donna now. She seemed strong and good-natured, and now that she was part Timelord, she'd be a good match for him. Maybe he wouldn't be as lonely as I thought…

I pushed those thoughts aside. This was the first time in a long while that was I was going to sleep with a smile on my face.

…..

I bolted upright, gasping wildly.

"Doctor…Doctor!" I rasped, my eyes still shut, seeing images from my nightmare. "Doctor!"

I was drenched in sweat, yet I was shivering. Sometime in the night I had thrown my comforter off the bed, and my pillows were sprawled across the mattress instead of against the headboard.

I slowly came back to reality, one breath at a time. Once my heart rate had slowed, my eyes opened. It was still dark in my room, so it couldn't have been nearly time for me to get ready for the work day.

Though I was now awake, the scenes from my dream still remained on my mind. It was like I was seeing it all over again. There was a bus, and flashing lights…and an endless desert of sand. There were these odd creatures, too. They looked like they belonged in the aquarium, but they were flying…

And he was there. Of course he was there. When did my dreams _not _include him? He was desperate, trying to fix something. Something about a storm coming…

It was all jumbling together now, events falling out of order in my mind. I frantically searched for my journal in my bedside table's top drawer. I had to scribble down what I could still recall of it—it was a ritual for me.

As I opened the dream diary, my bedroom door burst open. In the doorway was the Doctor, still in his pajamas, a worried look on his face. It took me a moment to remember that he was not the same man from my dream.

"Rose, are you alright? I heard screaming…" He ran his hand through his hair, which unsurprisingly looked the same rolling out of bed as it always did.

"Nightmares," I said shakily, closing the journal and putting it aside. "What time is it?"

"It's still early. 4:30." He nodded towards the clock.

I sighed. Still another two hours before I needed to get up. But after that nightmare…well, there was just no way I'd be able to fall asleep again.

"Can I…do anything for you?" He asked, still ruffling his hair.

"Nah, I'm okay." I lied, putting actual effort into keeping a calm expression.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, after a considerable silence. I shook my head because I didn't trust my voice. "No? Well, if you change your mind…you know where to find me."

When I was sure that he was back in his room, I picked up the journal again. I flipped past hundreds of entries, varying in length. Most were written in horribly messy scrawl; these were the dreams that affected me like the one tonight: terrors. The neater ones were typically dreams that didn't call to be recorded immediately. At the first page with some space, I began to write furiously. I finished off the story with the date, and then put it back in the drawer.

Two hours left.

I picked up the blanket off the floor and curled up under it on my bed. No matter what I looked at, I saw his face.

I stared at the clock, watching second after second tick by. But it was no use.

With a groan I got out of bed. I didn't know if what I was doing was a good idea, but I went over to the Doctor's bedroom and knocked.

"Doctor?" I called.

"Mmmm?"

I pushed open the door to find him reading, the bedside lamp turned on. I hadn't expected him to be fully awake.

"I…Can we talk?"


	6. Chapter 6

Work was much the same as it always was. At any rate, I was glad to be back at the flat.

It was strangely quiet inside when I arrived. Normally I'd find the Doctor trying to fix something or fiddling with his Sonic.

"Doctor?" I called out, but received no answer. I checked every room, even hesitantly opening the bathroom. After fifteen minutes, I had exhausted all options. Well, all but one.

Sure enough, he was out on the balcony, looking up at the darkening sky. It was still early yet, only 6 PM, but a few stars could be seen, if you looked real hard.

I debated whether or not to knock on the glass, because he looked so at ease.

I watched him for a moment. He really was extraordinary. Then past week had shown me that. He was trying hard to adjust to human life, with my help. I couldn't help but like him. After all, he was _the Doctor_, just a little unsure of himself on occasion. Sometimes it concerned me, but other times it was refreshing, and even a bit satisfying. Now he would know how it felt to be the one who didn't belong. He'd feel what I'd felt.

I inhaled and then knocked on the sliding door. He jumped to his feet and went to grab the handle.

I shook my head as a small smile formed on my lips.

"No, it's alright. Stay. I'm jus' gonna make us some supper." I told him, just loud enough so that he could hear through the glass.

He nodded, looking happy to stay outside a bit longer.

I threw together some spaghetti, just barely having enough sauce for the both of us. Sometimes he cooked. It wasn't all that bad, but the mess that accompanies the meal wasn't something I liked too much! He just got a little too experimental.

Just as I was preparing two plates with the pasta, he came inside.

"How was work?"

"It was work," I said, pouring a ladleful of sauce on top of a pile of noodles. "Nothin' too special 'appened. Nothin' new to look at, so we jus' kept an eye out for anythin' weird."

"That's good."

"Yeah, but very borin'." I placed the two meals down on the table. "What would you like to drink?"

"Water is fine, thanks."

"Nice night out." I commented, setting the glass in front of him, and then taking my seat.

"Mmmhm. I was out there for quite a while. Do you have plans tonight?"

"Not really. I was gonna go to the market, though. We'll be needin' a couple things soon." I twirled some spaghetti on my fork, adding, "You can come with me, if ya wanna."

"Oh…sure. That sounds like a good time."

I burst out laughing and shook my head.

"You liar! Now listen, Doctor, this is _my _flat. But don't jus' consider yourself to be a guest! Think of it like the TARDIS! I made myself right at home!"

"For better or for worse…" He murmured.

"Hey!" I swatted at his hand from across the table. "My point is, you live 'ere now. This is your home, as much as mine. You'll be completely honest with me, yeah? If you don't wanna go shoppin', I'm not bloody well gonna make ya."

"_Well_…in that case…I'd rather stay here."

"That's what I thought," I chuckled.

….

The grocery store was nearly empty at this hour, only a few people were shopping. It was nice being able to move through the aisles with no problems at all.

I didn't have much to buy, just milk, bread, and some breakfast foods. Truth be told, I just wanted to get back to the flat and sleep.

…

The Doctor wasn't out on the porch when I returned. I'd really expected him to be.

I put all the groceries away, and then I went into the living room, hoping to catch a drama or something brainless on TV to watch before tucking in.

There he was, passed out on the couch. He had fallen asleep while writing, it appeared. He still had his pen in his hand.

I walked quietly around him; I was very curious about what he'd written, but I didn't want to wake him up.

The papers were scattered all over the coffee table. But it wasn't all written words: there were pictures. There was one of his sonic screwdriver, detailed immaculately. Another was of a cluster of planets in some galaxy we'd never travelled to, complete with annotations, names, and exact locations. I smiled ruefully when I saw the last one. It was the TARDIS, drawn exactly to likeness. The words on this page were written in a different language, Gallifreyan, I'd guess. But at the very bottom of the page, there were a couple sentences in English. I couldn't make them out, because the scrawl was messy and rushed, but I saw my name among the other words. The mood of the page was sad. Even the foreign words seemed to form a heartbroken message.

I set them down, trying to make it look as if they had not been disturbed. I looked at him, sleeping in what had to be an uncomfortable position. His forehead was creased, like he was trying to work out a difficult problem in his dreams.

I sighed and approached him, bending down to press a kiss to his brow.

"I'm so sorry, Doctor."

And then I went to bed myself, where I, too, would sure have dreams of distant places that now felt unreachable.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello! I know these chapters are on the shorter side, but I hope you enjoy. I've been able to write a lot lately, since I've been going to the library in between classes when I don't have anything else to do. That's why updates have been so frequent. I don't know how many more chapters there will be in this story…maybe three? I never intended for it to be too long, anyways.**

**Thank you for all your kind reviews!**

"Where are ya off to?" I asked when I saw The Doctor putting on a pair of shoes.

"Looking for a job."

"…Why?"

"Well, I have to, don't I? I can't keep living off of your paycheck. From Torchwood." He grimaced as he said it.

"Alright, then. Bur how are ya gonna get around?"

"Walking! Human bodies need lots of exercise, anyways. Right?"

"But do you even know your way around the city?"

He held up a few sheets of paper proudly. "Printed these off this morning. Maps!"

"Okay. If you think you'll be able to manage it…it's jus', the TARDIS always got ya where ya needed to go…"

"I'll be fine. Besides, it'll give you some time to yourself."

I wasn't sure if I wanted that, but he seemed determined to do this all by himself.

"Good luck, then. How long do ya expect to be out?"

"All day."

"Here." I dug around in my bag for some money. "Take this. You'll be needin' lunch, maybe dinner. Don't want you starvin'."

"Thanks, Rose." He kissed my cheek, and before I could even respond to that, he dashed out the door.

Now that he'd left, I had nothing to do. I suppose the flat needed a good cleaning, but where was the fun in that?

I thought about last night-the drawings and the writing. He hadn't acted sad this morning, but there was something in his eyes…

It pained even me sometimes to have had to leave the TARDIS. Once you got a taste of traveling, it was a hard thing to let go of. I couldn't imagine would it could feel like for _him_. The silly blue box was a part of him, metacrisis or not.

I had an idea.

I grabbed my keys and a jacket, locked the door and turned out the lights. I was going to go out, too—shopping.

….

I returned with various paint cans, decorations, brushes, and palettes of all sizes. I changed into something that I didn't mind getting dirty. Then I went into the office and began my project.

I never used the office much. All it had was a nice writing desk from the previous owner and boxes of things that didn't belong elsewhere. I set the boxes outside the room and surveyed the area. The blank walls were intimidating, especially for me, someone who was _so _not an artist. But once the first strokes had been applied, the rest came easier.

It was no small feat, and it would definitely take the entire day, but I felt it would be worth it. I didn't have to think hard about what I was painting, because it was so engraved in my memory. I could never forget this.

I had picked out the perfect colors. They were rich and just as I remembered. There was orange, and various browns, yellow, and tan.

When the walls were finished many hours later, the last thing that needed to be addressed was the door.

I left the inside as it was, just plain white. But on the outside, I had selected a blue paint. I'd debated for nearly half an hour over which hue to buy. I think I got it as close as possible.

I kept the door open to allow it to dry, which would probably take a while.

I was sweating like crazy and would have loved to take a swim had I been at dad's mansion. Instead I settled for an ice-cold fizzy drink out on the balcony. My arms were sore from all the stretching I'd had to do, and my neck hurt. Hopefully the finished, dried product came out as I'd hoped it would.

….

"Rose!"

I stepped back inside when I heard him.

"Where are ya, Doctor?"

"Kitchen!"

I hurried by the office, closing the door after assuring that it was dry.

"Have any success?"

"Nothing's for certain, but they said they'd consider."

I watched him as his eyes wandered behind me to the countertop.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" I asked, turning around. He had grabbed a magazine from the rack (an outdated fashion rag that I hadn't gotten around to tossing) and he raised it, poised to act. "Doctor…" I warned.

He swung his arm down with force, but I caught it before it made contact. I wasn't exceptionally strong, but working at Torchwood had required me to get in better physical shape.

"No." I said firmly. He looked confused. "We'll be havin' no more of _that_ from ya. Remember?" I turned away from him and scooped up the little caterpillar from the counter. I went back to the balcony and set it down in one of the plants. "There ya go," I smiled, watching it skitter around.

The Doctor was observing from the doorway, a hand in his hair, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it…Jus' think next time before you go endin' somethin's life." I took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I've got somethin' to show ya." He raised his eyebrows curiously. "C'mon."


	8. Chapter 8

**A**/N: I think there will only be one final chapter after this one! I know this was kind of a shorter story, but it started out as a one-shot and nothing more…then it just kind of grew! I am so glad that it has gotten good reception, and everyone's reviews have been very encouraging. Writing this story has been a great way to escape the college grind, if only for a little while. In fact, I'm writing this in my school's library, at the moment. I took some liberties towards the end, since I couldn't find anything on the subject….you'll see what I mean.

Hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review!

His eyes widened when he saw the door.

"That's…that's amazing, Rose. You even got the sign right!" His fingers traced the grain of the wood in wonder.

"That's not it, though." I said, taking his hand. "Close your eyes."

At first he just stared at me, as if he could not believe there was more. But I nodded, encouraging him to shut his eyes and trust me. He obeyed, and once I was absolutely sure he was not looking, I turned the door knob and gently pushed it open.

"Look," I whispered, stepping away from him so I could see his face. There was a moment when all he did was stare with his mouth hanging open. His eyes searched and scanned the room, taking it all in. Then a smile broke out on his face; he smiled with the utmost joy. For once, the Doctor was speechless.

I walked up behind him, trying not to grin like a fool. It was this reaction that I was hoping for—to stun him. Even if the artwork was not all that impressive, I had hoped he would _feel_ the passion I had put into it.

"I saw your drawins and writin' the other day…" I admitted. "I saw how much you missed it. Everything. I do, too…I know it isn't perfect…I did it all from memory, and I never claimed to be van Gogh or da Vinci…but I thought it might be nice for ya to have an office…"

He didn't answer; instead he walked around in wonder. He reached out to touch the walls, and I jerked forward.

"Ah!" I warned. "It migh' still be wet."

He retracted his hand and turned to me.

"I love you." It was different than when he'd said it on the beach. Then he'd been finishing an old sentence, one I had demanded that he bring to a close. These words were all his own, voluntary.

"I love you, too." The words fell so effortlessly from my lips. There was a moment when we just stood there looking at each other, and then I pushed my hair behind my ear and cleared my throat. "I was thinkin' maybe for Christmas we could have the console built…it could function as a desk or somethin', instead of this borin' thing. We migh' not have the real TARDIS, but we can still have human adventures…"

"That sounds great, Rose." He grasped my hand again, a firm grip that I couldn't have gotten away from, even if I wanted to. "Just us, the Doctor and Rose Tyler. As long as I'm with you. Besides, being human is adventure enough. I nearly got hit by a bus today!"

"Doctor! You have to be more careful…You're not invincible…"

"I know." After a few seconds of silence, I felt him watching me. When I caught his gaze, I was shocked by the intensity in his eyes. "You did a great job on this."

I sighed in content. "I could stay in here forever."

"I might just take you up on that." He embraced me warmly, and I closed my eyes, just breathing in the moment. I think I knew all along that there would be no escaping falling for him. He was the Doctor. He had the same memories, the same feelings for me as the true child of Gallifrey. The only difference was one heart, and a thirst for power and vengeance. I'd have to tame the latter a bit, just as the Doctor had been able to do over time. Just as he had made me a little more extraordinary, it was my job to make him a little more human.

This whole ordeal reminded me of when the Doctor had regenerated. I'd been confused and untrusting. He hadn't been _my_ Doctor. He no longer had those large ears and smoldering blue eyes. I had felt betrayed. And this hadn't been much different. But with time, I realized he was the same man. An amazing, miracle of a man. I just had to learn to love him again, for everything he was and everything he would be.

"I have something to show you, too," he whispered in my ear, and a shiver ran down my spine.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Come with me."

I trailed behind him, linked together by the intertwining of our fingers. He was pulling me towards his room. Why, I didn't know.

He pushed open the door eagerly, and let go of my hand to lead me to the bed.

"Sit."

I did as he said, watching curiously as he opened the closet doors, both at the same time.

There was a pulsing light from within, and the Doctor nearly had to shade his eyes from its brilliance. He stepped aside, and then I saw what was inside. The bit of TARDIS coral the Doctor had given us had been growing, and quite rapidly, too.

"I did just what Doctor Donna told me to. I increased the growth rate by a factor of 59, and it's been growing ever since. I'd guess that by the end of the year, we'll have ourselves a full-functioning TARDIS."

"That's incredible," I whispered, leaning forward and pushing myself off the mattress.

"It was a brilliant idea. Donna…she was special." He said this with a mixture of pride and sorrow.

"Are you okay, Doctor?" I touched his arm, and he nodded, lifting his eyes from the floor.

"Yeah, fine." He nodded and sniffed, cleared his throat, and then managed a smile. "We might not have to wait too long before we can travel the galaxies again. Through space and time." My eyes prickled and I knew that tears were about to form. I was feeling so much at once—love, hope, and a bit of sadness thrown in for good measure. This Doctor would have me for as long as I lived, but he'd never get Donna back, or Martha, or Sarah Jane, or anyone else. "I see you looking at the stars each night, Rose. You want to get away. Go somewhere new every day. Sure, Torchwood might deal with the aliens and the supernatural, but it can't compare to traveling. It can't fill the entire void. I know. And I'm sorry that we even have to wait any longer than this. But we'll be out there soon, I promise. We can go to New Earth—"

"No, not there again!" I laughed, though my throat was constricted from trying to stop any tears from coming. "No more nurses that look like cats, alrigh'?"

"Don't cry, Rose." He murmured, taking my head in his hands. "This has been difficult for both of us. But soon…soon we'll be back to the way we always were." He caught one of my tears and wiped it away with his thumb. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"No," I blushed. Then I added with a smirk, "You were always too busy admiring how attractive you were in this body."

"I was not!"

I smiled at him, my tongue poking from between my teeth. "Go ahead and deny it! Well, today certainly had been eventful. Why don't I go make us something to eat…Want anythin' special?"

"I could go for a milkshake right now, actually."

"It's your lucky day then. I've got vanilla ice cream in the freezer." I began to leave the room.

"Banana for mine?"

I looked over my shoulder and rolled my eyes. "Is there any other way?"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you all for following this story! I have so enjoyed writing it and reading your reviews! I hope you all like this final chapter…Please review!**

I often found myself just sitting in the Doctor's office, legs crossed on the floor. Whenever I'd had the chance in the past year I would come in and add more details on the walls. It looked nearly like the real thing now. For Christmas we'd custom-ordered a console-shaped desk, but it hadn't been completed yet.

When I had worked in that shop, I never would have guessed anything like this was possible. Heck, I had believed the mannequins coming to life had been a clever trick Wilson had been playing on me. Now here I was, living in a whole different universe with a man so impossible that he shouldn't even exist.

As much as I tried to live in the present, I couldn't help but think of him. Was he alone? If by some crazy chance I saw him again, would he even look the same? He might have regenerated, and there was no telling what he'd be like now. What if he had moved on like he wanted _me _to? Would I be okay with that?

I squeezed my eyes shut.

_No, no, no._

I couldn't keep torturing myself with these questions. The 'what-ifs' had been nagging at me for the entire year.

My cell phone rang, startling me. I nearly dropped it to the floor just trying to retrieve it from the pocket of my jacket.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Rose!" I rolled my eyes when I heard the high-pitched voice.

"Hey, mum."

"Do you and the Doctor want to come over for dinner?" I didn't answer straight away. But Jackie Tyler filled the silence. "Pete's having some people from work over for supper and we thought it'd be nice if you were there."

"I don't know, mum—I" I stopped. I heard someone shouting, but couldn't be sure if it was the Doctor.

"Rose!" The door burst open and there he was: his hair was even crazier than normal, and he seemed out of breath. "C'mon, Rose! Come with me!" I saw the key in his hand and I felt myself cease breathing.

"Really?"

"What? What is it? Rose? Rose!" Jackie demanded shrilly.

I hung up the phone and bounded towards him.

"It's really ready?"

"Seems so! I went inside and examined it. Everything seems to be in working order."

"You mean we could leave _right _now?"

"If you wanted to, yes."

I let out a squeal and pulled him towards his bedroom, where he'd been monitoring the TARDIS' growth rate painstakingly close. When I saw the blue box (the _real _one, not the one I'd painted!), I felt myself freeze. It was amazing, and surreal. I hadn't even realized I'd started crying, but the Doctor wiped away a tear with his thumb tenderly.

"I guess I never expected it to work…It was just something to give me hope and get me through the day…"

He pushed open the door and light spilled out into the bedroom. Seeing that familiar glow again was indescribable. I was feeling so much all at once. Like I was home at last.

"Ready, Miss Tyler?"

I smiled broadly, but it must have looked funny, because I was crying at the same time.

"Ready," I stammered, and took his outstretched hand.

"Where to?" He asked, putting his hands on levers and button so recognizable. The way he touched them and his accompanying expression told me that he was feeling the same overwhelming sensation. "We have the whole of time and space before us."

"Anywhere," I laughed, looking around in wonder as if it was my first time aboard. "Who would have thought it would be bigger on the inside," I said, smiling with my tongue poking out between my teeth.

He looked over at me with a crooked grin.

"The Doctor. In the TARDIS. With Rose Tyler." He recited, echoing the Doctor's sentiments on Bad Wolf Bay.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"As it should be." I finished, kissing him with all my love. Our first kiss on that cursed beach had been a product of my love for the other Doctor, the one who had had to leave. But this…this was all for him. The same Doctor, just a tad different. Human. _Like me. _ I couldn't wait to touch the stars and see new places again with him. Only with the Doctor. It had taken me quite some time to realize he was my Doctor. The Doctor's last gift to me. And even though I was happy with him, I couldn't help but wonder how _he_ was doing. I had got what I wanted, more or less (well, I had really wanted him, but I understood in the end why this was…_better_, I suppose), but had he?

I shook my head and smiled into his neck. Maybe we'd see him again one day, and I could ask. But everything would be different then. Everything would be so different…

He pushed me against the console suddenly, ripping me from my private thoughts. I blushed as he gripped my hips.

"We have the rest of our lives ahead of us, Rose. Right in here. We may live in the 'real' world, but we'll always have an escape."

"That sounds perfect," I mumbled against his lips. "The real world is overrated, anyways."

"Picked somewhere you want to go?"

"You decide." I whispered. He pushed off of me suddenly and went to fiddle with some controls. He glanced over at me and I could see the excitement in his eyes. With one last flip of a switch, the TARDIS took off, and a grin spread across my face with the familiar 'vworp worp' sound. The ground shook as it always had, and I should have been prepared to be knocked off my feet, but I was out of practice. The Doctor caught me, and we fell into one of the chairs. There was no space in between us, none at all. But I don't think neither of us minded. His breath was hot against my face.

"I've got you."

"Thanks...Where are we off to?"

"Surprise."

I raised my eyebrows at him, but all he did was smile back, offering no hint whatsoever.

"Oh alright," I rolled my eyes teasingly. "'Allons-y', I suppose, right?" I said, imitating how he always said his silly catchphrase. But he didn't seem to catch the sarcasm, and he pressed his lips to mine.

"Allons-y."


End file.
